the repetitives patterns.
September 21st 2007 03:34
The repetitive patterns.
It has been said that in terms of relationships, we tend to reproduce the same patterns as seeing at home during our childhood.
Studies have revealed that there is a link between our childhood relationship with our parents and our current romantic life.
If growing up in a secure and warm relationship with the main caregivers, the person will then more likely tend to reproduce the same pattern in its romantic life.
If the childhood has been mostly overwhelmed by anxiety and ambiguities, same will occur later in the individual’s personal life.
Theorists believed that it is mostly due to people forming mental models of “close relationships based on their early experiences with their primary caregivers and then carry those models into their adult relationships.” (Fraley & Brumbaugh, 2004)
Of course those old patterns if dysfunctional can be broken. One must first recognize and accept if dysfunctional relationships as occurred in childhood.
It isn’t an easy task as for most of us living in denial gives us a sense of peace, but only for a brief moment.
There is no one to blame here really, at the end of it our parents are just teaching us what they have learned through their own parents, and so on.
It used to be a time when parenting was not discussed or argued. It was the way it was and nothing was questioned.
It seems like today the door to blame city is wide open and everyone finds someone to blame for the way they are!
It is true that the impact of certain events that happened during childhood is independent to one’s control, but it is also true that it can be fixed.
One cannot live forever in the shadow of a traumatic childhood, there is a time for mourning and there is a time to grow.
Not wanting to offend anyone, of course there are extreme situations that live long term and painful scars, those special cases are not discussed here.
It has been said that in terms of relationships, we tend to reproduce the same patterns as seeing at home during our childhood.
Studies have revealed that there is a link between our childhood relationship with our parents and our current romantic life.
If growing up in a secure and warm relationship with the main caregivers, the person will then more likely tend to reproduce the same pattern in its romantic life.
If the childhood has been mostly overwhelmed by anxiety and ambiguities, same will occur later in the individual’s personal life.
Theorists believed that it is mostly due to people forming mental models of “close relationships based on their early experiences with their primary caregivers and then carry those models into their adult relationships.” (Fraley & Brumbaugh, 2004)
It isn’t an easy task as for most of us living in denial gives us a sense of peace, but only for a brief moment.
There is no one to blame here really, at the end of it our parents are just teaching us what they have learned through their own parents, and so on.
It used to be a time when parenting was not discussed or argued. It was the way it was and nothing was questioned.
It seems like today the door to blame city is wide open and everyone finds someone to blame for the way they are!
It is true that the impact of certain events that happened during childhood is independent to one’s control, but it is also true that it can be fixed.
One cannot live forever in the shadow of a traumatic childhood, there is a time for mourning and there is a time to grow.
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